Clancy T. Bachleratt and Jackie Snad - Lyrics

Turkey Wishbone
Turkey wishbone, tug-a-war.
Between a toddler and spaceship who wants it more.

And when the spaceship gets the victory it makes the simple wish,
that the Model-T car and the beer jar will kiss.

blah blah, nana nana nah (teleprompter failure)

...turned on the lights.

The BEER JAR'S LIPSTICK WAS ALL OVER THE MODEL-Ts FENDER!!
And when both of their spouses found out, it was a marriage ender.

Thanksgiving makeout!





Turkey Friend
Oh Turkey bird this is your lucky year because we plan to set you free!
And you will run wild in the forrest with your turkey-friends, enjoy it!

'Cause then we're gonna come after you, with the sharpened teeth of a rabid toddler.

This Really Happened

My Car and Star Trek - Info Graphic

A mysterious event happened. My car, which I had named Kimchichi because I bought it off my Korean friend, was stolen.

On the opening night of the first Star Trek movie, Kimchichi was stolen from a movie theater in California. Fast forward several years to the opening night of the second Star Trek. A police officer calls to inform me that my car (aka Kimchichi) has been found in Texas, it still runs but is now painted green.

If there was one thing I would ask the thieves it would be:
What did you think of that moldy loaf of rotten sough dough bread I had left in the front seat of the car?

Delicioso Butternut Squash and Pancetta

I made up this recipe

My friend Tanner was the first to 'like' this recipe on my facebook so I named it after him. To make it super fast use Trader Joe's cubed butternut squash and pancetta. I cooked it in a cast iron skillet.

The ingredients are added this order: Butternut Squash + Spices , Pancetta, Almonds, Spinach. When you see the squash is just about cooked then add the meat. Add the almonds and spinach at very end and just barely cook them.

Pepperoni Pizza Pattern Background

I made these pizza backgrounds

Feel free to use these pizza backgrounds as you see fit.
Keep in mind that the pizza photos were grabbed at random from the interwebs, so don't use this in anything commercial.

Logo and Brand Development for Heritage Association

This is a screen shot of my illustrator document.

I had to create a 'new' logo but still reference the old logo which used the font Harrington. The non-profit group PHA has several metal plaques with their old logo already affixed the homes of their Heritage Award winners.

When branding it is easy to get caught up in the details of the design. For me designing a logo can be like a logic puzzle, sometimes it even feels like a very left brained task.

I found that things started to take shape after I visited some of the historic Victorian homes owned by the members of this group.  The photograph is of the interior parlor of one of the homes, by working on top of the photo it is like I am immersed in the concept.

Board of Games Logo - Ombre and Delft

Logo Process

I made this logo for a Board Game meet up group. They ended up changing their name from Orange County to Southern California, which was a bummer because the original design is suppose to be an O and a C.

I've been really interested in the recent 'ombre' and 'delft' trends.

Example of Delft

Example of Ombre

The Final Logo

The idea was to create a logo that looked municipal, sort of like a public works project logo. I used fun game components to keep it from looking too serious and stuffy.

Logo on Black

Here's their Meet Up page I created for them.

Game Pieces

The game pieces are all from games played at the meetup group. You may not recognize the pieces if you are only used to playing games like Monopoly or Candy Land. The pieces represented here are from:

• Ticket to Ride: Märklin
• Risk Legacy
• Rattus
• Takenoko
• Citadels
• Settlers of Catan
• Carcassonne
• Mage Knight

The other ones are generic wooden pieces used in many euro style board games.
Oh, and one army dude is suppose to represent miniatures games.

Trolling Yahoo Answers

Funny Answers
I waste time writing bizarre and off-the-wall responses to the questions on Yahoo Answers. Here are some of my favorites from the past. The best is when they are voted best answer.

QUESTION
Ideas for funny and useless superpowers? We're making a parody in a media class where we have a league of superheroes with extremely useless powers.

ANSWER
Idea for you:
You only have to pee once a year, but your entire body becomes like a water balloon slowly filling up with liquid until that day when you finally release your pee.

Oh and when you do, it's like a freakn' tsunami.

In the sequel, the government wants to use your pee as a weapon and they try and lock you up for their own purposes. But then you take this pill that makes your pee turn into sweet bubble gum juice and you shower a small island nation on the brink of poverty with your pee.

Of course they start making effigies as if you were a minor god, but that catches the attention of a hidden race of super beings that live in the subways of Moscow.